McWane Center

Last weekend I took the kids to the McWane Center and to be honest, it's not my most favorite thing to do.  It really is crowded and all the activities kind of freak me out.    I wish I could post some pictures of the kids enjoying themselves.  It was good to see them interact with all the experiments.  The best one was the bubble station.  They actually got to stand inside a bubble. 

But as we were leaving the one thing at the McWane Center that captivated them was Vulcan's Dream Machine.   A wonder of sound, color, and movement, this intricate contraption is a great example of a compound machine. Made of many simple devices like levers, inclined planes, wedges, pulleys, screws, wheels, and axles.  It really is amazing.

As I was watching Noah in a trance from the continuous motion of the steel balls moving through obstacles, winding tracks, up hills, down hills and drops, I couldn't help but think how this is how this is similar to life. 

I have been really thinking about life and death since Dad passed away.  And, as you have read, Sunday's are not the best day for me.  This particular Sunday, once again as I am watching this machine, it made me think how it resembles life. 

It starts suddenly, kind of like birth.  The ball drops into position to begin it's journey.  The track holds the ball steady and guides it along the path. Which made me think of how parents teach their children the basics of life, how to talk, walk, trust, love, etc. and how to guide them though their young lives. As the ball moves, it picks up speed and works it's way through a series of obstacles.  There are turns, drops, hills and barricades.  There are even parts of the machine that helps carry the ball onto the next path.  The ball sometimes assists other balls along the path.  Then as it embarks on the last section, the ball suddenly stops, death.  However, the ball pauses, then with a jolt, it drops!  The journey begins, again.

This is life.  A journey of obstacles.  There are people in one's life who is steady, strong, reliable.  There people you love, people who you you, people you trust, people who guide, as well as ones that make you hate, make you angry, make you sad.  There are times in life when you are cruising down hill and everything is smooth sailing.  At other times, everything is up hill, a daily struggle to just make it through the day.  Whether it is spiritually, emotionally, or financially, there are up hill moments.

Just as the ball has assistance of the conveyor belt.  There are people along the way to help carry us through difficult times.  We all depend on the people we love, the people we depend on, the people we trust, the people who will help during difficult times.  And at times, it is all down hill, just moving along with nothing standing in our way.

There is the aspect of speed.  How quickly time passes.  How quickly we grow from childhood, to young adult, to adult, to middle age, to elderly.  Which is the last part of the journey in which one grows.  But unlike the machine at the McWane center, once the ball stops, there is no sudden jolt to begin the journey all over again.  It just stops.    

I Want To Hold Your Hand

The reason I'm writing this is that one day when I am old and senile I will be able to remember this sweet memory.   I just hope my eyesight will hold out so that I can read it!

When I was a little girl I was afraid to go to sleep.  This may have something to do with my insomnia today, but that is just a hunch.  Well, after many years of therapy, I have realize why I am unable to go to sleep and why I have panic attacks which prevents me from sleeping at night.  This will be reviewed in another blog called Anxiety, Agitation and Anti-depressants.

When I was young, my grandfather passed away.  My very wise mother said that he was just sleeping.  Well, basically that scared the hell out of me.  So since then, I can't sleep like a normal person does.  For many years following his death, I would have to hold my mothers hand to go to sleep.  In my mind, that if I held her hand and something happened to her (she died) then our hands would forever be together.  Screwed up, I know, but I was a kid.  It gave me comfort knowing that she was right there.

It's amazing how you put memories in a place in your mind and they only creep out when something or someone brings them to your conscious.  I'm sure my very smart niece, Jessica, has a psychological term for this, but I don't. 

One night about a year ago, Noah and I was getting ready for bed.  He lays with me until he goes to sleep.  He sweetly slipped his hand into mine.  For some reason, this brought this memory back to mind.  He wanted to hold my hand as he drifted off to sleep.  And it has been a sweet tradition ever since.  I hope that fear is not the reason he is holding my hand, but just comforting knowing I am right beside him every minute and I will never let him go. 

Everynight, like clockwork, he gets settled into bed.  And as he gets drowsy, his sweet hand reaches for mine. I have never shared this story with him.  Or anyone else, except therapist, for that matter.  I'm not sure who is finding the most comfort by holding hands!  I pray that his dreams are peaceful.  And at least I have him for a little while.